@jimmyfallon As a kid I thought turkey made you sleepy so it was the solution for insomnia. I invented Sleepy Bird pillowcases. Just pillowcases that have pockets to fill with warm turkey to sniff and snack all night. I got zero investors. #MyWorstInvention
@jimmyfallon You crave a burger. You goto a restaurant & there’s a great description of another food which you impulse order instead. It’s good, but it’s not as good as the burger would have been.
That feeling that you would’ve gotten?
I dubbed it the “Hansen Feeling”. 😉
@jimmyfallon Polo golf. 2 carts, each with driver and other person wielding a golf club. Throw golf ball as far as you can and then race toward your ball in your cart, whacking the ball toward the hole. First ball in wins. #MyWorstInvention At company golf outing, partners not amused.