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Distraction
By bipolarlawyer | June 30, 2008
I go through phases. Distractions. Obsessions. It occurs when I am depressed, and don’t want to face work, bills, life. Sometimes it’s my same favorite books, reread over and over, every night, sometimes for months. For a while, it was crossword puzzles. Right now, it’s a few different TV series online, which is crazy, since normally I don’t even watch TV. While these obsessions are ascendant, while my depression drives me to distract myself, everything else takes a back seat. I can’t concentrate on work, which is bad. I don’t pay bills, even worse. I hardly talk to my friends, or my husband. Instead, it’s the addictive call of whatever helps me block my biochemistry’s hold on me, if only for a few hours. But like all addictions, it’s dangerous. And the time’s come for cold turkey, though I hardly know (as I always do, which should give me strength) that I can do it. It’s not alcohol, drugs, or gambling, but the inattention to what’s really important is still there. That’s the scary part– that the distractions become all there is, because I’ve blown everything else. Wish me luck.
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June 30th, 2008 at 8:59 pm
Thinking of you . . .
July 1st, 2008 at 1:56 am
i wish you luck and the ability to balance.
July 1st, 2008 at 3:23 pm
good luck!
July 1st, 2008 at 6:42 pm
I go through the same cycle and reading this post helps me understand myself better…it did not bother me much because these distractions help my get by….though it gets scary to some point.